The Naked Pint Read online




  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Acknowledgements

  Introduction

  ONE - Beer 101

  TWO - The Art of Beer

  THREE - The Neophyte

  FOUR - The Sophomore

  FIVE - The Devout

  SIX - The Promiscuous

  SEVEN - Home Is Where the Beer Is

  EIGHT - The Beer Lover’s Kitchen

  NINE - Brewing at Home

  TEN - Entertaining with Beer

  CONCLUSION

  Glossary

  What, We’re Not Enough for You? Building a Library

  BEER-TASTING NOTES

  Index

  ABOUT THE AUTHORS

  Praise for The Naked Pint

  “The Naked Pint is a great read for anyone interested in all things beer—from beer style descriptions to cooking with beer to brewing your own beer at home. Like a Beer 101 textbook to amp up your brew IQ, if only textbooks occasionally made you laugh out loud. The authors know their stuff; they understand and convey the notion that beer can be complex without being overly complicated, and they take beer seriously but don’t take themselves too seriously. The Naked Pint is very, um, revealing.”

  —Sam Calagione, president and founder of Dogfish Head Craft Brewery and author of Brewing Up a Business, Extreme Brewing, and He Said Beer, She Said Wine

  “No one turns people on to beer the way that Christina and Hallie do. Along with their passion and expertise, they bring a wit and levity that exemplify the renegade spirit of craft beer. They possess the skills of a sommelier . . . yet take you on the even more inspired journey into craft beer. Share a pint with these ladies; they will rock your world. They did mine!”

  —Greg Koch, CEO and cofounder of Stone Brewing Company

  “I have always loved beer without knowing much about it. I learned a lot in this factual, enlightening, and funny guide to one of the oldest and most cherished beverages known to man.”

  —Jacques Pépin, cookbook author, cooking teacher, and PBS television cooking series host

  “Whether you want to brew at home, belly up to the bar with confi dence, or make magical pairings at the dinner table, The Naked Pint makes learning about craft beers as fun as drinking them. You’ll be a savvy sipper after reading this educational and engaging book.”

  —Leslie Sbrocco, PBS television host and author of Wine for Women

  “An incredibly satisfying read! This book gets better-looking on every page. From Pale Ale to Weizen, The Naked Pint covers all of beer’s finer points in a fun, witty, and approachable manner. Hallie and Christina’s great taste and cool, refreshing style is the perfect introduction to the often intimidating world of craft beer.”

  —Rachael Leigh Cook

  A PERIGEE BOOK Published by the Penguin Group Penguin Group (USA) Inc. 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England Penguin Group Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.) Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.) Penguin Books India Pvt. Ltd., 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi—110 017, India Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.) Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England While the authors have made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the authors assume any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

  Copyright © 2009 by Christina Perozzi and Hallie Beaune

  eISBN : 978-1-101-14922-5

  1. Beer. 2. Brewing. I. Beaune, Hallie. II. Title.

  TP570.P38 2009

  641.6’230973—dc22 2009027940

  The publisher is

  not responsible for your specific health or allergy needs that may require medical supervi

  sion. The publisher is not responsible for any adverse reactions to the recipes contained in

  this book.

  Most Perigee books are available at special quantity discounts for bulk purchases for sales

  promotions, premiums, fund-raising, or educational use. Special books, or book excerpts,

  can also be created to fit specific needs. For details, write: Special Markets, Penguin Group

  (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.

  http://us.penguingroup.com

  WE’D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS BOOK TO OUR PARENTS,

  WHO ARE SO PROUD THAT THEIR DAUGHTERS BECAME

  BEER EXPERTS INSTEAD OF LAWYERS OR DOCTORS.

  Acknowledgments

  Hallie and Christina would like to thank all of the chefs, brewers, and industry experts who generously contributed to this book: Greg Koch, Govind Armstrong, Jacob Wildman, Rob Tod, Brian Thompson, Patrick Rue, Jenn Garbee, Ann Kirk, Larry Caldwell, Josh Loeb, Zoe Nathan, Evan Funke, Samir Mohajer, Chris McCombs, Lucy Saunders, Bryan Simpson, Greg Beron, Andrew Steiner, Matt Accarrino, Michael Saxton, and Randy Thiel.

  We would also like to thank the following beer lovers and all-around quality people who helped us along on our own Beer Journey: Mark Jilg, Kevin Kansey, Tomm Carroll, Joe Corona, Mike Smith, Eric Kremer, Ryan Sweeney, Brian Lenzo, Jason Bernstein, Charlie Farrell, Tracey St. Pierre, Grace and Klaus Gabelgaard, Kirill Taranoucht chenko, Emily Wahlund, Jaime Morrell, Nathalie Balandran, Patrick “Pinch” Merrit, Darren “Jazz ’n Tap” Mann, Brian Ransom, Stacey Pic cinati, Mila Becker, Jane and Russell Adams, Kara Slife, the Brewer’s Association, the National Beer Wholesalers Association, Thunder, and Enzo. We’d also like to thank everyone at F.O. and the Daily Pint.

  A special thank-you to the amazingly smart and talented Erin Tarasi, who was an invaluable asset to us.

  Christina would especially like to thank her parents, Bill and Claudia, who have always encouraged her to follow her dreams, even when her dream was to drink a lot of beer. She’d also like to thank her brother, Dan, for always believing in her. She’d like to thank Maury, Kasey, Austin, Karen, the Stefanos, and all her friends around the world for helping with the (ahem) “research” and all the laughs. Mad props to HB.

  Hallie would especially like to thank CP; my loving parents, Catherine and Roy, who have given me enormous support in every step of my life; my strong, beautiful sisters, Christine, Holly, and Wendy; sweet little Karter and Kennedy; my loyal and encouraging friends; and Matthew, whose love fills my days with joy.

  Last, but absolutely not least, we would like to thank our agent, Michelle Brower, and everyone at Wendy Sherman and Associates, and our editor, Maria Gagliano, and everyone at Perigee and the Penguin Group. We love that you love beer.

  Cheers!

  Introduction

  Beer loves you.

  Do you love beer? Of course you do. It’s why you picked up this book. It’s why you are dying to try that new craft beer bar down the street. It’s why you salivate at the sight of a pint. Most people already have a soft spot in their hearts for beer. Our culture has been embracing this beverage for hundreds of years, weaving it into our celebrations, our sports, our commercials, and our identities. But beer is more than you might think it is. Sure, it’s beer, but it’s also cultural anthropology. Different beer styles tell different stories: Who
made it, where it came from, who drank it, what was happening in the world socially or politically when that beer was first created. Every beer has a story, and for the most part, that story has gone untold. Overshadowed by its mega-brewery cousins, craft and artisanal beer has been underappreciated and undiscovered by the majority of Americans. Until now (cue choir of angels).

  People seem to love craft beer more and more each day but at the same time are perplexed by its mysteries. If you are not a craft beer believer, we would like to strip away any misconceptions you may have about our favorite drink. Get ready to know beer as it was always meant to be: made from quality ingredients and free from all the bullshit. Cast aside the pasteurized lager for the local Pale Ale. If you do, you can count yourself among a quickly growing group of the public that buys craft beer at the specialty store instead of the twelve-pack of the cheap stuff at the gas station. You know, those people with the huge smiles on their faces, the ones who seem to have found fulfillment in beer. Embrace craft beer, and you can join the devotees who support their local beer makers and who revel in the pride of having the local brewery on tap at the local pub.

  Our philosophy of beer has for a long time been one of quality not quantity. As soon as we began to taste different craft beers, we shifted our idea of what beer was all about. No longer would we force ourselves to drink “fizzy yellow water” or focus on drinking just one kind of beer. No longer would we order only wine with fine food. Hell no! We found we’d rather have a balanced Belgian Ale at the end of a hard day than several mediocre or crappy brews. Like anything in life, once your eyes and taste buds are opened to the best, it’s nearly impossible to go backward. Your palate wants more. Try as you might, you can’t forget how great that Bavarian Hefeweizen tasted, that special tart and refreshing marriage of bananas and cloves. It’s a question of the quality of the moment, and drinking a fine beer allows us to celebrate, to partake in a brewer’s vision, and to experience what a great beer should be.

  Beer Is Funny

  We go where the funny goes, and luckily, so does beer. From the hilarious names on the labels (our favorite is Tea-Bagged Furious) to the jokes made between friends in a small pub in Belgium, beer seems to pair best with laughter (loud laughter). We don’t like the beer talk to get too serious. Wine has sometimes been accused of this, and we would hate for craft beer to lose its levity. This doesn’t mean craft beer deserves any less respect than any other food or beverage. The inspired creations of brewers are to be revered for sure; a great beer is an art after all. We just don’t want them to end up behind any velvet ropes or bullet-proof glass. We feel that the best way to approach craft beer is by treating it as you would any fine food or drink, tasting and learning and sharing with friends, but never letting go of the wonderfully casual way a group of people can share a bottle of beer. If you find yourself stressing about your beer pairings to the point at which beads of sweat collect over your furrowed brow, you need to pour yourself a nice Tripel and take a breath. And, we hope, when you let out that breath, you’ll laugh at your silliness. How serious about beer can you be when you’re pairing cheese with a beer called Big Woody Barley wine or Sexual Chocolate Russian Imperial Stout? See, I bet you’re laughing right now. Go ahead, let it out. When we look back over our Beer Journey, we find that our best beer memories are set in a background of laughter.

  It’s Not What You Think

  There’s a lot of information about beer out in the ether. The difficulty comes in finding what beer knowledge is useful and what knowledge is so esoteric that only a true beer-geek would be interested. We set out to create a new kind of beer book, one that is as accessible and as useful to the novice as it is to the veteran. We want to take you, the reader, on the same journey that led us to our reverent love of beer. This is the same journey on which we’ve successfully converted hundreds of people from beer neophyte to expert. Yes, even those who, to our shock and dismay, initially uttered the dreaded statement “I’m not a beer drinker” have been converted to full-on beer connoisseurs. In this book, we’re not listing beer styles in any strict order of country or provenance but taking an excursion of the palate, focusing on flavor, moving in order from least intense to most intense. This kind of Beer Journey enables you to truly develop your beer appreciation along the way. Beyond beer styles, we also talk about how to welcome beer into your home and incorporate it into your modern dining experience, how to cook with it, and how to take that final step and become a brewer yourself. There’s a lot to learn ... and it’s probably not what you think!

  Yes, We’re Women and We Drink Beer

  As women, we’ve found that people have been surprised at our love of beer. The truth is, women have been brewing and drinking beer for thousands of years. Women are out there drinking craft beer and brewing and writing about it every day, so there’s no reason women should feel that beer is not for the ladies. It’s true that the image of women and beer on the tube has generally involved double-D boobs and a wet T-shirt, but we can assure you, our T-shirts are dry. And, though we think craft beer is indeed sexy and are sometimes happy to wear six inch heels while drinking an Abbey Dubbel, beer is not only an afterthought of female stereotypes. We understand that people have been misleading women for years about the caloric content of beer and the necessity of drinking a light beer in order to seem ladylike. But no one really subscribes to this anymore. Women who come to our events are fascinated by the flavors of craft beer. Young or old, once they’ve had their first sour cherry Lambic or chocolaty Porter, they are on board in a big, big way. And we are thrilled to be a part of this growing community. Let’s be honest, what’s sexier than a woman who knows her craft beer?

  A Final Word

  This book is not meant to be the final word on any aspect of beer. We bring you our thoughts as participants in the craft beer community. We love being a part of the dialogue that is present in the craft world today. As the community grows, so do the differences of opinion and the discussion on style and ratings and a multitude of other topics. For us, it’s always about being inclusive and sharing the knowledge with anyone who wants it. As you enter the craft beer world, you enter a world that is accessible. The learning curve for beer is quick, and after Beer 101, you will already know more about beer than most people in the bar. We love that the beer world is not a lofty, exclusive one. No one need pass a coolness test to drink this fine beverage. Though beer snobs do exist (and yes, we’ve been known to raise our nose a few times), we try to bring it back to the fact that craft beer is meant to be enjoyed, not worshiped; not used to alienate, but to bring communities together to toast the events of the day and the changing of the seasons. When the beer talk gets too haughty, we simply excuse ourselves and go open a bottle of Saison. Though we may drink the beer from proper glassware and pair Witbiers with fresh seafood, we never lose sight of our simple credo: Beer is good.

  ONE

  Beer 101

  He was a wise man who invented beer.

  —PL ATO

  What You Never Learned in School

  You’ve learned many useful things in life. You learned how to walk, how to tie your shoe, how to ride a bicycle without training wheels. In school, they taught you the three R’s and how to dissect Dostoyevsky. In home ec, you learned how to make an apple turnover and balance a checkbook. But when it came to beer, the only resource you had was your older brother, whose idea of a perfect evening was shot-gunning a beer and chasing it with a whippet in the local Kmart parking lot. His only concern, when it came to beer, was quantity versus cooler size. Let’s be honest, if you dropped him in any craft beer bar today, he’d be considered “that guy”—the one who thinks his mass-produced light lager of choice is the be-all and end-all of beers and the only one he’ll drink forever, no matter what occurs. Hey, we’re women, we’re down with commitment, but even we refuse to be chained to one beer for the rest of our lives.

  So let’s begin. With Beer 101 you will impress your friends, your date, your bartenders,
and your parents (well, maybe not your parents). This will set you on the right path to drinking and loving great beer.

  The goal of Beer 101 is to debunk many misconceptions that people have about beer, and to raise it to the level that it deserves as an artisanal and craft beverage. When you graduate from Beer 101, you will have a rudimentary understanding of what beer is. You will know what goes into it, how to describe it, how to taste it, how to order it, and, yes, how to drink it without feeling like a total idiot. In fact, we’ll let you in on a little secret: Unlike calculus, the learning curve for beer is quick! After you discover the basics, your knowledge will be far beyond what most people know about this misunderstood beverage. It’s part of the beauty of beer.

  What the Hell Is Beer Anyway?

  Wine is easy to understand. You pick some grapes, you crush them, and then you let them sit around for a while until you get wine. Hell, even the I Love Lucy girls understood that. Of course, we realize that winemaking is a much more detailed and complicated process. We know that winemaking concerns the growing of the grapes and the quality of the terroir, the wood used in fermenting, varietals of the grapes, AOCs, stems on versus stems off, and so on. But even the most devout winemakers will tell you that when you really get right down to it, wine in its simplest form is fermented grape juice. We get it. You get it. But do

  WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL ABOUT MICROBREWS AND CRAFT BEER?

  In the late 1970s and early 1980s, Jimmy Carter gave a great gift to beer lovers everywhere by signing the bill that decriminalized the home brewing of beer. Beer connoisseurs were tired of industrialized, watered-down, mass-produced beers made from inferior and inexpensive ingredients like corn and rice. They were inspired by the master brewers in Europe and finally had the law on their side to begin the art of homebrew. Brewers began their own small breweries using quality ingredients like barley, rye, wheat, herbs, fruits, and spices. It was called the Craft Beer Revolution.